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Fri12192014

Last updateFri, 19 Dec 2014 4pm

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Two Directors of State Insurance Company, SIC, spent Thursday night in police cells after they were picked up
A twenty-three year old level 300 student of the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST) me
Ghana has been ranked as the seventh most prosperous nation in Africa and the second safest nation on the cont
A woman and her one-year-old baby were yesterday burnt to death in a fire outbreak at Mataheko in Accra. The
The Moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Ghana, Right Reverend Professor Emmanuel Martey, has charged bad p
Two Directors of State Insurance Company, SIC, spent Thursday night in police cells after they were picked up

News

Update: Two SIC top directors arrested

Two Directors of State Insurance Company, SIC, spent Thursday night in police cells after they were picked up by the police yesterday.

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Politics

I am no underdog - Adu Asare

I am no underdog - Adu Asare

Former Member of Parliament for Adentan who is vying for a deputy General Secretary position within the governing National Democratic Congress has waved off an underdog tag, insisting he is the man to...

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Health

Police Hospital to shut OPD, Emergency Department Friday

The Out Patient and Emergency Departments of the Police Hospital will be closed to the public from Friday December 19 to Sunday December 21, 2014.

Other departments like the Accidents and Pediatrics De...

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Business

Fuel prices to go down next year – NPA

Fuel prices to go down next year – NPA

The National Petroleum Authority (NPA) has announced that Ghanaians may see a reduction in fuel prices by next year if crude oil price on the world market keeps falling.

The NPA has also revealed that ...

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Sports

Black Stars appearance fees slashed to $5000

Black Stars appearance fees slashed to $5000

The Black Stars of Ghana could see their earnings slashed by more than half  if a proposal by the Ministry of Youth and Sports is approved.

Allsports.com.gh understands that the Ministry has propo...

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Love & Romance

7 Sex mistakes you've probably made before—And should never do again

7 Sex mistakes you've probably made before—And should never do again

By now, you probably have your own personal list of sex dos and don'ts, from the basic (do use protection) to the crazy specific (don't be afraid keep socks on so you don't wind up too cold to orgasm,...

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Letting Go…

He sat there and stared blankly at me. In a bad situation, where a guy is miserable and unhappy and letting a girl walk all over him, why is it that so many men still can’t let go of their girlfriends?



Basically, there are three reasons why guys including my friend who is obsessed over not letting his gal go.

    1. They dated their partner for a very long time

    2. They had a very close relationship

    3. They don’t believe they would find a replacement partner.



Now, closeness of the relationship and duration of the relationship are pretty easy to understand, and there’s not much you can do about those two factors. But ease of finding a replacement partner now that one, we’re interested in.

Can’t Let Her Go? Stop Being Scared and Selfish

Once upon a time, I had a girlfriend I also couldn’t let go.

She was remarkable. Beautiful, intelligent, full of enthusiasm and a lust for life I’ve seen in few people before or since. From her I learned how to get to the quick of people with speed and have them opening up to me; from her I learned how to get what you want with others, no matter how unlikely it seems that you’ll get it. But I couldn’t give her what she wanted.

For years I did great experiences inside and outside the bedroom, great conversation and great memories.

But eventually she wanted more, and I couldn’t give it.

I also couldn’t let her go.

When I thought of it, part of it was, I thought, for her: if I let her go, what if she never meets anyone as good as me again? What if she’s wasted years of her life on me, and now it’s too late for her to find a quality man?

But part of it was definitely for me: if I let her go, what if I never find someone like her again? We had such an incredible and impossible-to-repeat path we had to follow to originally get together – what if women like her are simply outside my normal reach?

So, I held on, and wouldn’t give her what she wanted, nor would I break us up, for almost a year more. And that year was a disaster.

Once we officially broke up though, I went on a dating tear, and in quick succession I found myself with new high quality girlfriends – in some ways, better than that one I’d struggled giving up.

And I realized that I could get high quality replacement girlfriends easily.
I never had another bad break up again, and I never held onto a girl I should’ve let go again.

When I look back on that girlfriend I’d resisted letting go of for so long, I realize two things:

1.     I was scared, and

2.     I was selfish.

Despite the fact that I was never exclusive with her in the relationship (and I told her as much from the very outset), and despite the fact that I was sleeping with women instantly the moment we’d take any kind of break up, I didn’t believe I could find a girlfriend-caliber girl of her level of quality to replace her. So, I feared giving her up, and instead I held onto her, wasting her time.

And for a woman, whose value to men and ability to attract high quality men declines the more time goes by. Time is one of the most precious things she has.

Any time you can’t let her go when you should let her go, you are making the life she’s going to lead ever after a little bit worse, and a little bit worse, and a little bit worse, because the longer she has to wait for you to set her free, the lower the quality of man she’ll be able to get to replace you will drop.

If you’re doing this, if you really care about her (and not just yourself), you need to knock it off, before you wreck your life and hers.

To be continued…

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