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Last updateWed, 01 Oct 2014 3pm

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Parliament has postponed approval of Dr Ekwow Spio-Garbrah as Trade and Industry Minister to Thursday October
Yvonne Okoro is being exposed to a global television audience as her face has been on international platform,
Black Stars captain Asamoah Gyan was sent off in Al Ain’s ASF Champions League game on Tuesday night. Gyan
The outside-the-ring sparring between Floyd Mayweather Jr and Manny Pacquiao reached a crescendo last Monday,
Two people have died and at least twenty were hospitalized, all because of a social media prank urging Nigeria
President John Dramani Mahama arrived in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) on Tuesday, to join other African lead

News

Mahama in Dubai for Africa Global Leaders Forum

 Mahama in Dubai for Africa Global Leaders Forum

President John Dramani Mahama arrived in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) on Tuesday, to join other African leaders for the Africa Global Leaders Forum scheduled to take place today.

The President had ...

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Politics

Parliament postpones Spio-Garbrah’s approval; Bagbin sworn-in as Majority Leader

Parliament postpones Spio-Garbrah’s approval; Bagbin sworn-in as Majority Leader


Parliament has postponed approval of Dr Ekwow Spio-Garbrah as Trade and Industry Minister to Thursday October 2.

Joy News' Parliamentary Correspondent, Elton John Brobbey explains the House pushed de...

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Health

Ebola: Togo submits samples to Noguchi for testing

Ebola: Togo submits samples to Noguchi for testing


Officials from Togo have submitted blood samples taken from a suspected Ebola patient to the Noguchi Memorial Institute for Medical Research (NMIMR) in Ghana for testing.

It is the first case from Gh...

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Business

Herbal medicine producers target American market

Herbal medicine producers target American market


The Ghana National Traditional Healers Association in collaboration with regulatory bodies is working assiduously to open up its market share to capture the international community, particularly the U...

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Sports

Gyan explains reaction after Al Ain red card

Gyan explains reaction after Al Ain red card

Black Stars captain Asamoah Gyan was sent off in Al Ain’s ASF Champions League game on Tuesday night.

Gyan reacted angrily to comments from Mihai Pintilii of Romanian before making his exit from the ...

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Love & Romance

‘Quickie marriages and snappy divorces’: 600,000 divorces in Ghana

‘Quickie marriages and snappy divorces’: 600,000 divorces in Ghana

I like Bishop Dag Heward-Mills for his frankness and confrontational honesty. While pundits and journalists extolled the peace-loving nature of Ghanaians and the fairness of our justice system for all...

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Letting Go…

He sat there and stared blankly at me. In a bad situation, where a guy is miserable and unhappy and letting a girl walk all over him, why is it that so many men still can’t let go of their girlfriends?



Basically, there are three reasons why guys including my friend who is obsessed over not letting his gal go.

    1. They dated their partner for a very long time

    2. They had a very close relationship

    3. They don’t believe they would find a replacement partner.



Now, closeness of the relationship and duration of the relationship are pretty easy to understand, and there’s not much you can do about those two factors. But ease of finding a replacement partner now that one, we’re interested in.

Can’t Let Her Go? Stop Being Scared and Selfish

Once upon a time, I had a girlfriend I also couldn’t let go.

She was remarkable. Beautiful, intelligent, full of enthusiasm and a lust for life I’ve seen in few people before or since. From her I learned how to get to the quick of people with speed and have them opening up to me; from her I learned how to get what you want with others, no matter how unlikely it seems that you’ll get it. But I couldn’t give her what she wanted.

For years I did great experiences inside and outside the bedroom, great conversation and great memories.

But eventually she wanted more, and I couldn’t give it.

I also couldn’t let her go.

When I thought of it, part of it was, I thought, for her: if I let her go, what if she never meets anyone as good as me again? What if she’s wasted years of her life on me, and now it’s too late for her to find a quality man?

But part of it was definitely for me: if I let her go, what if I never find someone like her again? We had such an incredible and impossible-to-repeat path we had to follow to originally get together – what if women like her are simply outside my normal reach?

So, I held on, and wouldn’t give her what she wanted, nor would I break us up, for almost a year more. And that year was a disaster.

Once we officially broke up though, I went on a dating tear, and in quick succession I found myself with new high quality girlfriends – in some ways, better than that one I’d struggled giving up.

And I realized that I could get high quality replacement girlfriends easily.
I never had another bad break up again, and I never held onto a girl I should’ve let go again.

When I look back on that girlfriend I’d resisted letting go of for so long, I realize two things:

1.     I was scared, and

2.     I was selfish.

Despite the fact that I was never exclusive with her in the relationship (and I told her as much from the very outset), and despite the fact that I was sleeping with women instantly the moment we’d take any kind of break up, I didn’t believe I could find a girlfriend-caliber girl of her level of quality to replace her. So, I feared giving her up, and instead I held onto her, wasting her time.

And for a woman, whose value to men and ability to attract high quality men declines the more time goes by. Time is one of the most precious things she has.

Any time you can’t let her go when you should let her go, you are making the life she’s going to lead ever after a little bit worse, and a little bit worse, and a little bit worse, because the longer she has to wait for you to set her free, the lower the quality of man she’ll be able to get to replace you will drop.

If you’re doing this, if you really care about her (and not just yourself), you need to knock it off, before you wreck your life and hers.

To be continued…

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